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Thursday, 4 December 2014

A Nigerian Father's View On The Need For Collective Effort In Marriage and Parenting

A Nigerian father took out time to share his opinion about why marriage and parenting is a joint effort by both couples. He aired his views raw and straight from his heart on mamalette.com's facebook page. Read below

I wept after watching that maid from Uganda that almost killed a child that was left under her care and I kept wondering if we can't cope without maids. Marriage needs collective efforts and that's why we plan for marriage. Some men fail to understand that marriage is not all about going to ur office or shop, come back and eat, then wait for your wife to service you. No No No! that is not how to build a home. Your wife is your helper. you brought her to assist you and not the other way round.

You sit down together and plan every week. My wife and I are both working and we cope because there is division of labour. We have 6 kids. Monday to Friday, my duty in the morning before work is to bath the kids and prepare them. When I come back from work, I wash their uniforms while my wife bathes them and prepares dinner. I don't joke with my Saturdays, I stay with them and wash their accumulated clothes for the week while my wife goes shopping, comes back and cooks and it has been working for us for the past 10 years of marriage. 

Believe me when I say hard-work, collective efforts and determination make a beautiful marriage.. Women are fragile and the strongest in the world. A woman will wake up by 4 or 5am, bath the kids, prepare breakfast and leave for work or shop, come back in the evening, wash the kids clothes and yours, prepare dinner, bath the kids and still service u kwa. Na only u waka come? wetin sef? u wan kill her? Is she a camel? and tomorrow you will say she is ageing. And some will still collect their wives salary at the end of the month. Is she your Nwa boy?

Please let us help out our wives with some house-chores and you will see that there is no point looking for maids. As a matter of fact, helping out builds intimacy. My twins are my last children and they are 2+ for those who will say my kids are all grown ups. Let's try and help in any way we can. Motherhood is not an easy task. And for those collecting their wives salary, please resist that act. Face your responsibilities as the head. Some say they don't know what their wives use their money for? But check am na. The second hand children wears is her money. That children take snacks and caprisonne to school is her money. etc. 

Please let's unite and make our marriages work out. And please women, if they comply, don't take advantage of them and if they refuse to comply, don't force them. Their case dey heaven! God bless you all.

1 comment:

  1. Kudos m-a-n! Wish all men are like you, marriage would be harmonious with MotherFatherhood instead of just Motherhood.

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